March 18th, 2001

face

Back

Well...I went over to Bart's place and hung out with him, Liz, his brothers (who I now know to be Ben and K(C?)urt...), Stacie, and Alok, Sharad, and Tarun from the other side of his appt. complex. We drank green beer and watched SNL (we started with a 'best of' video and then moved to the actual show with Julia Stiles). For the record, I don't find Julia Stiles attractive. Not in the least. Nope. Not I. No sir.
  • Current Music
    Sugarcubes -- Pump
thoughtful

Damn dude...

That was fucked up...And for the record: I'm not. I'm listening to the Sugarcubes, and apparently in their song Planet there is a sound like a phone ringing in the background. My appt HAS NO PHONES. (I've said it before and I'll say it again--I fucking HATE editing text in windows native programs. FEH!) So anyway, I'm listening (of course) on my Grado SR-80's (run don't walk to the nearest quality hi-fi place and snag a pair. best bank you've ever parted with) which allow you to hear the finest detail of your music, and so I heard this for the first time. Thing is, these earphones are open air, and it sounded exactly like my phone back home in Portland, so I kind of tripped out. My roommate's sleeping, and so I was like, "SHIT! I've got to go get that before he wakes up!" I had ripped off the phones, and was sitting there staring at my door for like a full three seconds before I realized I need to stop going to the Salvation Army when I'm shopping for my Crack. Whooboy.
  • Current Music
    Sugarcubes -- Walkabout
thoughtful

Holy mother of christ

it's after 6 here. I don't have to do anything tomorrow (today) but sweet lord...this is not good. I had my sleep locked down to 12 to 8. Very healthy. Then suddenly like a week and a half ago, that all went straight to hell. I'm back where I started. Puts me on good footing to chat with the LJ crowd, though. ;) If I don't go to sleep soon it's going to be harder to do my problem set for monday, since I'll only have like three hours of day left. Heh. Nap time for Johnzo.
  • Current Mood
    distressed
thoughtful

food

Need food...cheerios at 2 are starting to wear off. Maybe going to Wendy's. Oh! Haut cuisine!

Then it's time to lock it in and go work on my 592 homework...I think maybe I'll lock myself in the computer cluster for a few hours...the homework shouldn't be that hard...just have to write about silly terminology comparisons for a while.

I'm less than ecstatic.
  • Current Music
    Ben Folds Five -- Narcolepsy
thoughtful

(no subject)

Well...I'm mired in the cluster now. Plan to stay here for a while. Good news is I found all the relevant hard copies of the papers I need to reference for this HW, so I don't have to spend an hour downloading pdf's from citeseer. Na bu cuo! I like working in the cluster though, since it's all unix machines. Yay! C-p operates as god intended! I can even cut text with C-k! (can't yank, but that would be a lot to ask of a text box. :))
  • Current Music
    Good Will Hunting ST -- Angeles
thoughtful

(no subject)

Feh. Why does abstraction work well in "POP" problems. How the fuck should I know? A* rules, though, so I'm happy just sitting here thinking about why it rules, and why abstraction shoves a pole up its ass. I'm sure you all care deeply. :)

In other news, the AI server in my dept. is down, which means I can't even find out what paper I'm supposed to read tonight. I hope to hell it comes up before too long. :(

"What did you think of the paper, John?"
"What paper, professor?"

Not a conversation I'd relish. >:[
  • Current Music
    Atomic Fireballs -- Drink, Drank, Drunk
face

lj: journal or journal

I've been contemplating heavily ever since I opened my LJ account what exactly it was appropriate to air in this kind of a forum.

For those in the know: Yes, this was exacerbated by making an ass of myself today, but there is no causal relationship...these musings predate that issue.

I have a variety of different groups of friends and associates scattered across the globe. Most of them do not read my live journal. Most of them would be confused if I told them it exists. Given that, it is tempting to use this as a real journal, where I lay down deep and personal thoughts, joys, and concerns about the people who I care most about and the things that matter most in my actual life. Unfortunately, it is a public forum, and what's more will sit on record indefinitely. Some things would not be publicly acceptable even after an elapsed statute of limitations of like 10 years.

One solution, obviously, is to simply make the entries of that form protected or private, but this raises two concerns. On the one hand, I do not have ultimate control over the low level handling of this data, and as much as I may trust Brad (and I do), it would be unsafe to post the most personal of personal data ANYWHERE outside my immediate domain. (Some things are so taboo it would be dangerous to write them in a paper diary in code using a one-time sheet and invisible ink, much less dump them onto a server on the other side of the nation.) That is a fairly extreme case, however, and may be safely excluded for the primary considerations at play here. The second point is more salient. I could limit my posts of a personal nature to be viewed by my friends, and then be heavy handed about who makes that particular cut. But even if that were reasonable (if for example I could establish separate lists of 'associates' whose pages I want to read and 'friends' who get special priveledges should they choose to read mine) it would really still be missing the point. I really would like to have an indefinitely large audience of people to see my journal and comment on my life and support me in my emotional/intellectual battles both external and internal.

Now you may be thinking that an obvious solution would be to create a completely anonymous journal with a fictional id or something and use that as a forum for this kind of extraspection (is that a word? eh...). Again, though, that presents problems. I abhor anonymity in matters of substance. I am a firm believer in owning your own ideas and taking responsibility for your actions mental, digital, physical, or otherwise. I would feel shallow and empty about any empathy/advice/support/criticism I got through an anonymous interaction, really.

I guess fundamentally these are not concerns specific to journals. This is really a broader issue of privacy vs. community and anonymity vs. social risk taking. Scary stuff really. I guess the only conclusion I can draw is that solid relationships between people that involve complete disclosure and acceptance towards the ends of mutual understanding and complete trust are so incredibly valuable, especially now when it is so easy to be heard, and so difficult to be heard correctly...

Not a proposal or a rant, just honest musings about life 'on the screen'

-John
  • Current Music
    High Fidelity ST